To Wit

From Barrons.com today:

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Practice safe eating—always use condiments.

Shotgun wedding—a case of wife or death.

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.

A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it’s two tired.

What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead give away).

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

A lot of money is tainted—taint yours and taint mine.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

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