Give Me Some More News!

From Yahoo Finance a few minutes ago:

Wall Street edged higher Wednesday in a volatile session where stocks at first surged on robust retail sales numbers, but then reversed course after a disappointing crude inventory report caused oil prices to surge.

* Retail Sales Surge in November AP
* Business Inventories Rise in October AP
* United and Continental in Merger Talks AP
* Home Depot Buys Retailer in China AP
* Market Overview: Wed 12:30 PM ET

I knew there was a REASON why the stock market is up for the time being today. What a relief to know why! How do you think those twenty-five year old AP writers got so much market wisdom at a young age? Of course, if the day ends down, AP reserves the right to change the reasons why.